I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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