i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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