sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
