my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
