the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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