just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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