Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
