Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
