Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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