is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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