in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize