Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Randomize
