party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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