I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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