Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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