I am in a vortex of obligation.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
