Where is the hickey?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
