How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
