you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
