Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize