How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
