your parents love me but you hate me
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
