They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
