Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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