like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
