Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
