what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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