So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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