if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
the raccoons are back...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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