so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
