they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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