You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
