I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
