he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
