OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
