Your tits are I can't wait for
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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