addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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