Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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