Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
