Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
