I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
