If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
