I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
