How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
