My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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