My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
