i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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