just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I forgot wine drunk hurts
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
