Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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