I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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