3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
