i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
