Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
