Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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