I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
