i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
