We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
