And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
