Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
