This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
