he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
