You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
