Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize