john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
be right there i have to get my cape
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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