i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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