You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize