Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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