yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Drake has all the answers
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
