I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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