is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
